The One I Trust
by rakenrol
Summary: Dorothy narrates her love for Seravi :)


**The One I Trust  
An Akazukin Cha Cha Fanfiction  
by : Sakeena deathstalkker@yahoo.com  
**  
  
Legal disclaimers apply to all anime.  
  
  
As always, I am furious. I never really liked the idea of being second best. But no matter what I do - that bastard always defeats me, almost in all aspects. Whatever I lift on my shoulder, he lifts with his finger. Whatever I finish in a week, he finishes in a day. What more, he is always being *nice* to me. But that can't and won't change things. I loath him more than ever.   
I have trained and studied hard to be the number one that I always wanted to be. I left home to pursue the dreams of my life, which sad to say, I can't say I have achieved right now. I don't think I will ever achieve that dreams as long as he exists. He will always win. He is always the number one. Unless of course, he dies, I will have the crown that I always yearned for all of my life. Though dirty, nothing can stop a desperate heart. A desperate woman.   
  
I never believed that men were better than women. Whoever said that the world is created for men (thus, making it a "man's world") is foolish. Women are never subordinate of men, never inferior, never created to be hidden behind their shadows. Maybe at early times, the so called "man's world" just didn't allow women to flourish, that's why they are often regarded as "Just a Girl" and "Just a Girl" is "all I'll ever be." But why? Maybe because men are afraid that women will beat them, sooner or later and take over. And hell, it is quite true nowadays. But, sad to say, not in my case. *sigh* But I'm determined to prove that, anyway, in whatever way I can.   
  
He is as old as I am, only a lot better in his own field. We have lived together all my life, though not really in the same house. We are actually ex-classmates turned archrivals (at least, that's how I see him) and I have witnessed enough of his greatness that I have gotten quite sick of it. When we are in school, the principal always praised him; the teachers loved him; our classmates look up to him. Everybody liked him, even my family. Except me, of course.   
  
It is quite a shame, but I haven't yet admitted defeat. My family is a member of the higher class in the society, always taking pride on manners and etiquettes. I can't stand it and they can't stand me, so I have left. I know that the moment I step out of the manor, I can never go back. It isn't a part of my ethics to swallow back what I have spitted out so I go on with my life, though sometimes - I have to confess - I really wish I can go back and have the time of my life like my homosexual twin brother.   
  
Doris. That's "her" name. He has changed his name to that at least, and since then, he has been parading around as a woman with a long golden wig. It maybe hard to believe, but he is in love with my archrival, Mr. Personality. That baka. I hate them both. I guess I hate all male creatures. Well, except one.   
  
It is some years ago - 12 years ago , to be precise - that a Knight comes to me and hands me a baby. I bring him to my castle and takes care - so good care of him - that I have grown to love him like my own son. If I can't defeat Mr. Personality, maybe my Zion can. I have given him all that I can, have taught him my ways and have nourished him with all that love that I have. We went along very well and he has grown up well with good manners, a young gentleman that he is. Of course, not always that well, but he is great help in the house, especially that after all these years, I have not learned to care for the house "like a real woman" as Mr. Personality states. He cleans the house, prepares dinner, and arranges the library. If he is a woman, I'm so sure he'll make a lot better wife than myself.   
  
Except from the fact that he likes Mr. Personality's student, everything is well. As I am his teacher, Mr. Personality has found student of his own - a girl for the matter, which my Zion really likes deep from the bottom of his heart. If there is another female my Zion respects so much that it almost triggered my silent jealousy, that is Mr. Personality's student, the Blnderinggirl who never got anything right. Well, at least almost.   
  
It is like he means it. Mr. Personality is still for a rivalry, though he never really admitted. He says he likes me, but I never cared. Why should I? None of his actions or words could change things. Everyday is day to plot for his life. And everyday, I fail.   
  
He is always patient with me and he knows any scheme I plan. But, for whatever reason, he never aims for revenge. I wonder why. Maybe because he wants to be a good role model for the girll.   
  
When we are younger, he's always being gracious and affable to me, compared to the barbaric treatment I have towards him. He gives me flowers and makes me laugh and even states that he'd like to marry me someday but that statement is always meant to make me furious as far as I know and it is always met with ire from my side. A good excuse to hit him. However, not all the time, I find excuses, so even for no particular reason, I shout at him and insult him to make him dislike me, but he refuses to fight me and "will never join any competition that can result to a struggle between the two of us". He says he wants me to be happy and he knew I can only be happy when I reach my dreams and succeed. He even accepts my insults delighfully and says that "if I'm happy with that, then so am I". But in the end, no matter what he does to "stay out of my way" and "lose" , he *always* triumphs as the victor, intentionally or not. It rarely fails to get to me. Sometimes, I can't help thinking that maybe I'm destined to lose.   
  
Up until now, I still haven't succeeded in making him hate me to the extent that he's willing to accept my challenge . By a mistake, my hair has changed from blonde to scarlet. He hates it and prefers me blonde. For some reasons, nevertheless, the little "mistake" gives me a feeling of small victory. Maybe it isn't a mistake. Maybe I ain't destined to lose after all.   
  
Still, I'm not appeased. I want a duel between the two of us. I want to prove something to myself that the "mistake" isn't my only victory and I can do better. It is also to prove to my smugly-laughing family that I can live and prosper without them. However, no matter how he abhors my hair, he still won't accept my challenge. If only there's something legal I can do to make him hate me even more...........   
  
That is of course, what I have thought at first. But as time goes by, I have become tired of waiting and I have lost all ideas to make him enraged enough to accept my challenge. As each day passed, he's smiling and happy with his student while I'm engrossed in schemes that is all bound to fail. He never loses his good disposition and delightful nature and instead, makes me mad. *Very mad* that I now result to any way to kill him. He is aware of it, I know, and if that makes him mad enough, I'm always in my castle waiting for him.   
  
Nonetheless, no matter how I despise him, he is always the one I run to whenever I get in trouble. That's because he seems always cool and cheerful about things, even at the darkest days.   
  
I'm busy with my figure that day, pounding on every weighing scale that declares I have gained a pound or so when the door opens. The Knight. He has come back.   
  
That is the day I most fear. What if he comes back for my Zion? I will never be able to live without my Zion. Well, aside from the cleaning of the house, my Zion isn't only my inspiration, but he's also my hope against Mr. Personality.   
  
It is even more than I expect. He isn't claiming for my Zion, but instead, much worse. The Knight is stubborn; he won't give up his principles that has enslaved him; he won't open his eyes; he won't betray his dark master, not even for his son.   
  
I have been trying to hide everything from my Zion. I don't like him condemning himself for being the son of a dark Knight. I'd rather have him think his parents are off somewhere, though I know I'm giving him false hopes. The Knight leaves, after a minute. All I can ask him is a faint "do you think I gained a pound?"   
  
I'm so much restless after that encounter. I don't know how long my Zion has known something, but I'm quite aware of his uneasiness. My presumptions are confirmed true after arriving home to find my room, which I told him to clean, messy and my diary lying on the floor , open to the page where I related the story of the Knight and the Baby twelve years ago.   
  
The Knight isn't after my Zion. He is after the Princess, which is no other than Mr. Personality's student who my Zion likes so much. As I have anticipated, my Zion is torn. Torn between his father and his love. I myself am torn apart as well, and I run off to Mr. Personality for help.   
  
Mr. Personality meets my earnest eyes that is pleading for help. I always believed in his judgement and sagacity. It is for a moment, before he turns his head away, saying an apology. Tears run down my cheeks as I witness father and son battle. For the Knight, it is a matter of honor and principle. For my Zion, it is a matter of loyalty and love.   
  
They don't fight for so long. No sooner, my Zion is proved to be of not match to his father and blunderingirl intervenes. She is quite a girl, that, as much as I hated to admit, reminds me of myself and my blundering days which lasts until the very moment. In a matter of minutes, the Knight falls down, defeated but not dead. The girll isn't wholly bad herself. Mr. Personality is a good teacher, I must confess, and she has definitely inherited something from him, though sometimes, I wonder why my Zion has developed an attachment towards her who always commits mistakes.   
  
Mr. Personality is really sorry, I reflect later on to myself recalling his solemn eyes. I always know I can count on my archrival. For some reasons, I trust the person I most hate. Maybe what he has said when we are younger is not intended for a joke; maybe he did want to marry me someday. Someday. Now I'm beginning to understand my Zion's love for the girl.   
  
For some reasons, I feel I have won. And I know I have.   
  
  
**  
99/08/03 **** © Sakeena **


End file.
